“Deserve” Doesn’t Cut It – Let’s Talk About “Earned” Instead!

Alright, let’s get this out of the way – there’s a word floating around in the air that I simply cannot stand – deserve. It’s everywhere, lurking in sentences like "well-deserved promotion", “you deserve a vacation!” or “you deserve a break today!” The problem? That word reeks of entitlement.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for celebrating accomplishments, but there’s something about “deserve” that just feels a little too… lazy. It’s like someone handing you a cookie just for breathing. What did you do to earn it? Absolutely nothing. And guess what? You don't deserve that cookie. You can, however, earn it – by doing something deliciously worthwhile, like baking it yourself, or maybe showing up to your goals like a pro.

The D-word: Entitlement in Disguise

When people say they deserve something, it tends to suggest they should automatically get it just by existing. But we all know life doesn't work like that. In fact, life doesn't owe you a single thing (cue the existential crisis, right?). You don't get a gold star for simply showing up.

The word "deserve" often implies a sense of entitlement. When we say we deserve something, we suggest that we have an inherent right to it, regardless of the effort we have put in. When someone says that you "deserve success", they are suggesting that success or rewards are inherently owed to you based on who you are or what you have done in the past. This mindset can be problematic for several reasons:

• It can lead to complacency and a lack of motivation to improve.

• It may create unrealistic expectations about what life owes us.

• It can foster resentment when we don't receive what we believe we deserve.

While there are certainly basic human rights that everyone deserves, extending this concept too broadly into other areas of life can be detrimental to personal growth and success.

Imagine telling your boss, “I deserve a promotion!” You might as well be handing them your resignation letter. But if you say, “I’ve earned this promotion,” you’ve just made a case for your growth, your impact, and your hustle. You’ve proved you’re not just sitting there, twiddling your thumbs, waiting for the universe to hand you a bouquet of success. You went out, rolled up your sleeves, and actually did something about it. That, my friends, is what we call earned.

“Deserve” Is the Daydream, “Earned” Is the Dream

We all have daydreams (yes, I’m talking about that fantasy where you win the lottery or wake up with the skills of a rock star). But those daydreams don’t make things happen. They just… float there, untethered and unrealistic.

But when you earn something, that’s a different story. It speaks to effort, growth, and sometimes a little (okay, a lot) of hard work. When you say you’ve earned something, there’s concrete action behind it. You took the necessary steps, put in the hours, maybe even stumbled along the way – but you got there. We’re highlighting the journey, and the challenges overcome to reach that point. The concept of earning has several positive implications:

• It promotes a growth mindset, encouraging continuous improvement and effort.

• It fosters a sense of personal responsibility for our successes and failures.

• It leads to greater satisfaction and appreciation when we achieve goals.

This encourages a growth mindset and a drive to continually improve and excel. Earned feels like a badge of honor. It’s the glow-up, the cherry on top after the hustle. And guess what? You earned that cherry. By focusing on what we've earned rather than what we deserve, we shift our perspective from passive expectation to active achievement.

A Little Shift in Mindset Goes a Long Way

If we could all make a tiny shift from “deserve” to “earned,” the world would be a little less entitled and a lot more motivated. Imagine telling yourself, “I’ve earned this coffee after that brutal 7 a.m. meeting,” or “I’ve earned a nice weekend away after finishing that huge project.” Feels better, doesn’t it? It’s like you’re rewarding yourself for your hustle, not just your mere existence.

I mean, sure, there’s the occasional time you get something out of the blue – a spontaneous gift, a compliment, or a random act of kindness – but most of the time, you must work for what you want. And when you earn it, it’s just that much sweeter. It feels more satisfying, like you’re the champion of your own story. No handouts here – just pure, earned glory.

Recognizing the difference between "deserve" and "earned" can be transformative. Instead of thinking, "I deserve a promotion," try reframing it as, "I’m working hard to earn a promotion." That subtle shift takes you from entitlement to action, from passivity to responsibility.

Success is not a guaranteed outcome; it is something that must be secured through hard work, dedication, and perseverance. When you adopt a mindset of entitlement, you are less likely to put in the necessary effort to achieve your goals. On the other hand, when you focus on earning your success, you will be more motivated to work hard and overcome any challenges that come your way. And in today’s competitive world, embracing that mindset will make all the difference. It’s the key to staying committed, pushing through obstacles, and ultimately achieving your goals.

Ditch the D-word

While it's important to recognize our inherent worth as individuals, adopting an "earned" mindset rather than a "deserved" one can lead to greater personal growth and satisfaction. By focusing on what we can control – our efforts and actions – rather than what we believe we're entitled to, we empower ourselves to actively shape our lives and achievements. The next time you catch yourself thinking you deserve something, pause for a second and ask yourself: Have I earned it? If not, that’s okay! Just go out there and make it happen.

And hey, if you’ve earned yourself a cookie after reading this… You’ve earned it!

Why keep all this silliness to yourself? When you share, you show you care